Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Feeling like myself

It has been 4 weeks since my surgery and I would say I am 98% back to normal.  Praise God! I really started feeling like myself at about 2 weeks post surgery.  After that first week of intense pain, I started to see a slow progress emerging each day.  I can now do all normal activities and my energy levels are back to normal.  I feel great both mentally and physically. I did have a few moments especially the first week of feeling a tinge of regret about my decision, but I always came back to my reasons for making the decision in the first place and they ALWAYS trumped my temporary negativeness.  As far as the way I look, at first, I felt like I looked very "mangled" since I no longer have any nipples and have a long 6-8 inch scar across both breasts, but with each passing week they look better and better.  And by that, I mean they look more normal.  Maybe I am getting used to them too. My oldest daugther wanted to see me right away and she did look surprised and a bit shocked, but after about a week, she too told me that "you are looking better Mom."  My other daugther did not even ask to look at me because a lot of this does not even register on her radar.  Nathan has been super supportive and he reassured after seeing me the first time that "you know, that really does't look that bad" which I really appreciated because he did not lie and say I looked great, but also he did not freak out at the sight of me. 

Positives that I am focusing on now are: I am back to normal within just a few weeks, No more drains!!!!, No more pain!!!!!, I am looking better with each passing week, I have had no complications, I can now manage my children, house, dogs, work and exercise like I used to. Things I do not have to do again EVER: have a pap smear, mammogram or breast MRI AND one of the unexpected blessing in all of this-I don't even have to wear a bra, EVER! Woo Hoo! I haven't had the freedom to not wear a bra since the 7th grade and let me tell you, it feels really nice! And, I can wear any type of shirt now and not have to worry about my bra strap showing.   One of my friends told me to think of all of the money I will save now that I do not have to buy tampons or bras! Ha! I guess the savings for me is true, but my girls are entering into preteen age years and I know I will found on the Tampax and bra isles again soon! Of course, the biggest blessing is I have reduced my ovarian and breast cancer risk to as close to 0 % as humanly possible. 

So, things continue to look up and for that, I am truly grateful!


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